Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
