I'm gonna have a badass scar
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
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My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
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i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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