Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
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It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
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Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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