I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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