bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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