Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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