can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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