Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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