I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize