he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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