i permit you to call me
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
