Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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