Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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