It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
