can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
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