we made out on top of his cat.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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