ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
