I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
