Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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