i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
