U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
