You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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