Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
