The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
