We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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