i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
