Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
