I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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