Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
