Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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