So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize