I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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