If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
