FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
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all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
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Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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