im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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