so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
