like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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