why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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