and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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