k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
