shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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