How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
