when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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