This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
