At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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