What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize