Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
