dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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