we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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