a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!