YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
id be glad to
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its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
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I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.