please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
