My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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