do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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