I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
