Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize