That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
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