Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
