Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
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On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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