i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
