I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
